Cauldron Girl
The Cauldron Girl blog is a culmination of life experience, self-inquiry and reflection, and daring adventures into the wild Soul that resides in us all. Stories of synchronicity, empowerment, and love and beauty in everyday life is truly what makes up the marrow of this "living business," so why not share the magic of this journey with the world? It's time to stir things up.
Friday, 8 July 2016
The Challenge
A lot of my moments in solitude are often spent thinking about the mark I want to make in the world and the nagging incredible need to somehow make it a better place. Naturally being a Leo and slightly egotistical, I imagine doing something so grandiose that the knowledge of my Being when I die is right up there in the collective mind with say, The Beatles or Gandhi. However despite my best efforts (kind of) I am neither a rock star nor a saint. I think this is actually a common phenomenon among the members of our Sapien brethren otherwise there wouldn't be so many amazing people doing amazing things like, Mother Theresa, Malcolm X, Martin Luther - and Russell Brand. I think about where I am and who I am now and compared to them, I feel utterly deflated. Seriously what a lofty goal! These people in my view were and are trailblazers, impassioned, self-less and really really well-spoken. And I, I'm just well, average.
But then I got to thinking - I could make average work for me. So I wondered what is it I do best? I've already ruled out rock star and saint, two of the most towering goals to set for oneself so now it's time to get real. What I do best is talk. A lot. Oh, and Human. Yep. Human. I am REALLY good at being Human. As Alexander Pope said to "Err is human," and I'm excellent that that. I make mistakes, I say things I probably shouldn't, I don't do the things I probably should, and I'm just full of all of these things called, "flaws."
Like anyone else at times, I am brimming with insecurity and doubts about myself, my career, my relationships, and honestly, my path in life. I have a well constructed, 30-year-old programmed thought process that keeps me tethered to the nagging voice of uncertainty, inaction, and just plain laziness that is reinforced every time I don't take a chance, eat an extra cookie, talk myself out of unrolling my yoga mat or when I confess a fear to my other half.
I think these are sentiments that the average human could agree on experiencing in life, but the funny thing is, we all think our particular brand of self-pity is special. Let me save you from years of teenage-y angst in your adult years. It's not. What I've known for a long time is that I cannot change my outside experience (or the world for that matter) until I change the experience I'm having with myself on the inside. So I'm proposing a challenge to myself to explore my innerscape and challenge my inner bully in order to live my best life. Part of that is starting this blog. I have always wanted to be writer. I never thought I was good enough. Of course that's silly because to be a writer is to write. Plain and simple, so that's what I'm going to do. And in this beautiful step forward I have realised that I don't have to change the world. I only need to change my world. To bring out the good in myself will inevitably bring out the good in the world and I can do that just by being average.
So in the wise words of Rumi: "Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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